I talked to a friend (Corrinne, the girl beside me in the pic) last night about one of my previous posts. It was about admitting that I’m still not over this guy I used to date. She was asking me to write about how I was able to deal with it for the past month. Honestly, I do not have the exact answer. Maybe because I was focused more on other things and not dwelling on it. Yes, sometimes he still comes into my mind, but maybe, just maybe, I learned how to accept the fact that he’s not coming back. Maybe I just learned to divert my attention on more important things. Like what I read on one of my friend’s blogs… the trick is to keep breathing. Life is not always like the fairytales where someone in distress would be saved by a knight in shining armor, or like a prince would slay a dragon just to help his princess. Life is definitely meaner. It would’ve been better if it was just as simple as that. People deal with a lot of things aside from finding the right person for you. There are bills to pay, deadlines to meet, and sometimes, you’d be too busy trying to squeeze in a break in your hectic schedule. On the other hand, if I’m gonna focus on the negative side, I would be asking the things most people ask, but will never really be contented with the answer because you alone knows how it feels to be in that situation. People might come up with books on how to move on and deal with heartaches, your friends might give you the best advice but then, if you come to think of it, they don’t really know how you are feeling, do they? You’re the one who was there, you’re the one who was happy with him at one point, and you are the one who went through it all. Maybe some of them went through similar ordeals but each person has different views on things, people have different reactions to every situation. They’re just there to help, but you’re the one who’s going to deal with it. (I hope I’m making sense here…hehe)
Anyway, if you ask me, yes, I still think about the happy moments when we’re together, I still think of him and is wondering how he’s doing now. I still wish that time would turn back so that I could at least do something to change what happened to us. I still imagine how it would have been if things worked. I still hope that one day, he’d realize that he wants me and he’d come back. And yes, I still want him, but do I need him? Right now, I’m ok with the idea that we’re friends, and that we didn’t end on a bad note, but yes I still wish that we had something more than that.
Sometimes, life is just like that. You just have to tell yourself that you’re ok now, you’ve accepted what happened and actually feel that way, but when you think of it, you wish you had it your way. Like what you’ve said Corrine, it feels like the story’s not yet finished because there’s still a chance that things might change. But then what if it doesn’t? Like in some blockbuster movies, people might be lead to think that there’s a sequel, but what if the story just ends that way. Some might wait, but eventually forget about it. And when they talk about that movie with friends or just simply remember it, they would hope that there’s a part 2, unfortunately, it’s been years and there isn’t.
1 comment:
life isn't a goblet to be drained but a measure to be filled... so fill yourself with countless memories you have won and lost. be happy and contented with what you have. be glad with what you've become now and will become in the future. all these are god's work of art. we have done insurmountable things that brought us to the peak of our limits, but still wer here breathing the air that makes us whole and human.
we must not dwell over the hurt it'll make us more miserable than ever. with every hurt and pain that we feel, we become more and more strong enough to face another challenge that comes our way.
i'm haapy that after all thats bin said and done, you have mustered all your guts to go through life with out hestation and faced your days with your chin up to world saying that "there would be a time that our paths will collide and who knows the world might turn around and it would be a different story with a happy ending.
it would take a strong man/woman to have a sense of self and never give up so easily.
people tend to retreat once they have experience such bitter endings. well, some would choose not to live. i pity them though.
i guess maybe now he has come to realize that he left a fighter.. not just a lover (hehehe). and maybe soon he'll be back and turn things around.
"love doesn't come to you every minute. if u hold back someone else will win. if u have love put your heart right in it... never set it free.."
nice verse, lyric, paragraph or wichever u may cy call it. wala lang share lng...
anyways, he said that he shared a couple of things with you that not most people in his circle knows or even talked about. well that alone is something.
who will forget someone that made u feel whole? someone you could talk for hours and not be bored? someone who can relate. being with someone who sincerely understands. who u can be at ease and be comfortable with.
i would not exchange that someone that makes me feel alive. not even a pot of gold. and i know deep that he's longing for someone who just listens. the best advice is to just listen.
well maybe there are a lot of people out there that had experienced the same thing. some took it and embraced it while others just dwelled with the thought that they lost.
living up and hoping of that one day your lives would meet again and maybe... just maybe... just thinking of it would make u feel alive.
well,, i'm a hopeless romantic tl ger and i believe in fairy tales. i'll stay tuned... maybe there will be a better ending than this... or maybe not... who knows...
kinikilig namn ako... hehehe
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