Last night, when I was about to go home, I got a message from my ex saying that he misses me and hopes that I’m fine. Since I was near where he was, I suddenly asked if he wants to meet up. I was thinking then of finally having closure with him. It’s been four months since the day we broke up and I know I was ready to face him. I told him to meet me in front of Starbucks. After a few minutes, I saw him walking towards me and suddenly, he approached me and hugged me. He whispered “I miss you so much.” I was not ready for that. I just gave him a pat in the back and asked him if he wants to grab a beer or something. We went to one of the taverns in the area and started talking about stuff that happened to both of us the past month. Out of nowhere, he asked me if I still love him. I said I don’t know, then that’s when he started crying. He told me that he needs me and that he wants me back. I was not ready for that kind of conversation because I know that I already moved on. I just told him that he’s gonna be ok, that humans have a great capability to heal, and sorry but he won’t get what he wants from me. I wanted us to be ok. I wanted closure, but what was happening that time isn’t what I anticipated. He couldn’t stop crying so I explained to him what was in my mind. I told him that we have our differences. I thought I couldn’t live without him before but after spending time alone, I realized that there are a lot of things in life that I should focus on. I cracked a joke, that’s when he started laughing. The rest of the night was different from that point on. I thought we were finally getting closure until the time that I was about to go home. I don’t know what came to him but he started hugging me and was insisting that he’ll take me home. I didn’t want him to. We were along the road with all the people and cars passing by and it almost came to a point where I shouted at him. It was crazy. I couldn’t do anything else, so I told him to calm down and listen to me. I said there will be a time that he would just look back on all these things that are happening and just smile. I said sorry, but I do not see any reason for us to be together, maybe when we see each other by the time that both of us moved on, we could be friends and possibly start something from there. But now I don’t really see that happening. After a couple of minutes, I left him there, crying. It broke my heart, but I know that it’s the right thing to do.
What we had is something I will treasure forever. I will never regret the time, the pain, the tears, the smile, the laughter, and the stress, everything that we shared. He made me who I am right now, and I am thankful for that. It’s sad that we parted ways but we should learn to celebrate what we have now. Like what I said in one of my posts last year, life is not like fairytales where stories have a happy ending, life is meaner… but when you think of it, it’s what makes life beautiful. If everything’s perfect then we wouldn’t need our friends, our family or anyone to share our lives with. Life would be boring that way. What I know is that pain is there to make us learn and realize that there are a lot of things in life we should appreciate other than the things that we aim for.
When I got home, I got a message from him admitting that I have a point and that he wishes me well. I said thank you and goodbye.
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