Thoughts of a slightly shopaholic person

I shouldn’t be posting this because it’s kinda embarrassing, but who knows, maybe someone out there could relate…

Today’s a normal day for me. It’s just the 4^th working day after payday and I almost spent all of my money. This is what usually happens to me, however last payday, I was expecting that I would have enough money to last 2 weeks because I wouldn’t be paying a lot of bills. I don’t know what happened but money just flies away so fast that I don’t even remember all the things that I’ve been buying. Yes, I have a problem.

I’m about to start reading this book, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan. I finished the first one (Confessions of a Shopaholic) last week, and I’m also looking forward to reading the third book (Shopaholic ties the Knot). It’s about this girl who can’t stop buying things that she doesn’t really need. She’s always justifying the purpose of her purchases. I can’t help but relate to what she’s going through… and it’s kinda scary. But don’t get me wrong, I can still pay my debts and I’m not broke, it’s just that I can’t seem to save money. I know there are a lot of people in this world who are having the same dilemma, but I have to get out of that circle. The problem is, there are just some things that appear out of nowhere which makes me spend more than what I usually do. I pay a lot of bills: phone, electricity, water, etc. But if I analyze things, my salary would be more than enough. Like what I’ve said, there are just some things that you just couldn’t help but buy. Like for example, I went to the Robinson’s Galleria sale last weekend. I bought 5 shirts in Calvin Klein worth 300 each. I know that these are just wants and not needs, but without the sale, they’re worth around Php1000.00 to Php1500.00 each! Who wouldn’t take advantage of that? And another thing, I treated 2 of my close friends to a movie. That’s ok, right? (I believe in good karma) Last Friday, one of my agent came up to me with a bag of clothes (these are brand new clothes that are sold to famous and expensive boutiques in the metro. She sells it to me half the price coz they’re the ones manufacturing the items), everybody in the office is always excited when she comes in with a bag filled with clothes. I bought a long sleeved polo and a pair of pin striped slacks worth 700 each (sold Php1500 for the polo and Php2000 for the slacks when you buy it in the market), and the fit is perfect so it’s definitely a good buy. Sometimes, I also buy small things that don’t cost that much, but when you combine everything at the end of the day, you’ll just be shocked with how much money you’ve already spent. I admit it; I’m just not good with saving money. On the other hand, I probably know what to do; I’m just too stubborn to do it. The good thing is I still have enough money left in the bank.

But then, all things come to an end, and I’m not really addicted to shopping (just slightly addicted), so starting next payday, I’m REALLY gonna start saving.

Acceptance Speech

I talked to a friend (Corrinne, the girl beside me in the pic) last night about one of my previous posts. It was about admitting that I’m still not over this guy I used to date. She was asking me to write about how I was able to deal with it for the past month. Honestly, I do not have the exact answer. Maybe because I was focused more on other things and not dwelling on it. Yes, sometimes he still comes into my mind, but maybe, just maybe, I learned how to accept the fact that he’s not coming back. Maybe I just learned to divert my attention on more important things. Like what I read on one of my friend’s blogs… the trick is to keep breathing. Life is not always like the fairytales where someone in distress would be saved by a knight in shining armor, or like a prince would slay a dragon just to help his princess. Life is definitely meaner. It would’ve been better if it was just as simple as that. People deal with a lot of things aside from finding the right person for you. There are bills to pay, deadlines to meet, and sometimes, you’d be too busy trying to squeeze in a break in your hectic schedule.

On the other hand, if I’m gonna focus on the negative side, I would be asking the things most people ask, but will never really be contented with the answer because you alone knows how it feels to be in that situation. People might come up with books on how to move on and deal with heartaches, your friends might give you the best advice but then, if you come to think of it, they don’t really know how you are feeling, do they? You’re the one who was there, you’re the one who was happy with him at one point, and you are the one who went through it all. Maybe some of them went through similar ordeals but each person has different views on things, people have different reactions to every situation. They’re just there to help, but you’re the one who’s going to deal with it. (I hope I’m making sense here…hehe)

Anyway, if you ask me, yes, I still think about the happy moments when we’re together, I still think of him and is wondering how he’s doing now. I still wish that time would turn back so that I could at least do something to change what happened to us. I still imagine how it would have been if things worked. I still hope that one day, he’d realize that he wants me and he’d come back. And yes, I still want him, but do I need him? Right now, I’m ok with the idea that we’re friends, and that we didn’t end on a bad note, but yes I still wish that we had something more than that.

Sometimes, life is just like that. You just have to tell yourself that you’re ok now, you’ve accepted what happened and actually feel that way, but when you think of it, you wish you had it your way. Like what you’ve said Corrine, it feels like the story’s not yet finished because there’s still a chance that things might change. But then what if it doesn’t? Like in some blockbuster movies, people might be lead to think that there’s a sequel, but what if the story just ends that way. Some might wait, but eventually forget about it. And when they talk about that movie with friends or just simply remember it, they would hope that there’s a part 2, unfortunately, it’s been years and there isn’t.

It's all about work

my messy desk

Just got back home from work and this is unusual because it’s still early. Usually I go home at 9 – 10am but right now, it’s only 7:30 and I’m ready to sleep. Probably because everyone else at work went home early or maybe because I just didn’t feel the need to stay at work (although I was actually hoping that I would find someone to hangout with a while ago), I was done with the daily reports even before the shift was finished simply because majority of my agents were not dialing. After the shift, I just asked my team to go to the briefing room for a meeting. I think it’s time for us to get serious. After handling the top team for several months, the agents in the whole campaign were reshuffled, as a result, I have new agents; agents who came from different teams. At first, I didn’t really like what happened because I love my former team. We’ve been together since my first day in the campaign, and that was last year. But things happen, and all you can do is to deal with the changes, whether you like it or not. So there, after the reshuffling of agents, my team became the worst team (sales and quality wise), not counting the other issues that I have with them, like sleeping on the floor, tardiness, absenteeism, etc. So during the meeting, I formally introduced them to a new set of policies that I will be implementing in my team, and the response was pretty good. Hopefully, we’ll slowly fix the problems and become the top team. For the mean time, I’m gonna be optimistic. I know that I can do this. I’ve done this before, there’s no problem doing it again.

How My Day was Spent

I met this guy before, and we used to date. Unfortunately, what we had just slowly faded after a couple of days. I dunno what exactly happened but we just stopped talking and sending messages to each other. The good thing is, after a couple of months, he sent me a message with his new number asking me if we could meet. This happened weeks ago when I was so stressed to go out and meet other people (aside from my best friends). I declined the offer the first time, but last Saturday, I finally decided to meet him after work.

We met at Starbucks. I was with my officemates, when he got there, I introduced him to them and then we went straight to McDonalds to eat breakfast. We were able to catch up on a lot of things. It’s always fun to talk to him. He has this way of making the topic interesting even if it’s something not even old people would talk about. There were no boring moments with him… he’s really fun to be with. I remember how he reacts every time I tell him to stop acting like a kid… he’d look at me wearing this what-the-fuck-did-you-just-say? look. I would just smile at him and tell him I’m kidding. He hates being called a kid. And I know that he isn’t. Sometimes he evens acts more mature than me.

Another thing that I like about him is his confidence. When I introduced him to my friends, he didn’t show a single hint of introversion. When he got to our table, he immediately asked the group what we were doing, which is something I cannot do. Usually, when introduced to a group of people, I just sit and keep quiet until I get comfortable to talk. Similar thing happened when I introduced him to my mom (FYI: this was not intentional). What happened was we were hanging out near my place when he asked if he could use the washroom. I didn’t know that my mom was up then, so after insisting that we have breakfast at our place first, the next thing I remember was, they were talking to each other for hours.

After spending a couple of hours with him, I went straight home. It was 12nn when I got to bed. I promised myself that I’ll be going out at night. After 8 hours of sleep (finally…) Meg, Jason and Mitcheiko (colleagues) called asking what my plan was that night. I told him I’m not sure yet. Then after a couple of minutes of trying to come up with a decision, we agreed to just go to Jason’s place and drink there (since Corrinne, an x-colleague, together with her husband, Paolo and friend, JR are goin to buy drinks and food for us). We got there at around 12mn. After a couple of drinks, I remembered that this guy (the guy I met that morning) is in a party near the place, so we decided to pick him up after his party. When we got back, he started to drink shots (he already looked wasted when we picked him up), and started this conversation with one of my agents about politics and the economy. Everybody was tipsy; some were hammered already when people started to join the conversation. He was definitely making a point, and everybody was listening to him. Some even asked him questions. I was amazed by how good he is. Even my friends were impressed by the way talks and the things he believed in.

After hours of arguing about the being optimistic, people’s beliefs, changing the government, etc., we decided to go to bed. The original plan was he and I would be sleeping in the guest room, but we just decided to stay in one room. I was thinking of what we used to have before, how this young guy caught my attention, how he told me what he likes and doesn’t like, telling me his opinions about stuff. I was staring at the ceiling, thinking how it was for us before when he suddenly wrapped his arm around me. He asked me that night if I missed him, I said “yeah”, and then asked him the same question, he just smiled, then after a couple of seconds, he said “of course”.

Renovation

I was finally able to push myself to work on my blog. After a couple of hours of Photoshop-ing, surfing and editing, I was able to achieve my idea of a “simple yet fun” site. Although, I’m not that satisfied yet because the pictures don’t seem to be that clear, I’m still happy because I was finally able to accomplish what I wanted to do weeks ago. Thanks to some cool sites (where I got ideas and pictures), I finished my masterpiece! (I even have my signature on the header… heheh!) I attached some of the pictures I used for the header here, just to let you know where it came from. (Thank you James for the pics.)

Now I have a huge favor… If it’s not too much, can you give out feedback, suggestions, or whatever you wanna say about the way this site looks like (or even the things that I write… hehe)? Hopefully, you could tell me if the old one’s better. I really appreciate it. Just click on the comment link below… Thanks.

Saturday Night

After several weeks of not going to bars and dancing like crazy, last night, I was able to go back to how I was years ago. I danced like there was no tomorrow.

After work, I went straight to the mall and watched “Sukob”. It was one of the few movies that will give you the shock of your life. Everyone screamed on the top of their lungs. Just imagine, there were five of us occupying four seats. We lifted the armrests so we can sit close together. It felt like we sat on a couch. After the movie, all we can talk about was how our knees are still weak. The movie was definitely worth watching.

After the movie, I went straight to bed. It was around 3pm when I last checked and set my alarm hoping that I would wake up at 8pm to meet my friends in Greenbelt to have dinner. Luckily, I woke up at 8pm, unfortunately, my body did not stand up, all I can remember was when I checked my phone it was already 11:40pm. The first word that came out of my mouth was “SHIT!” The second time I looked at my phone, I saw 3 missed calls and 9 messages. I immediately called my friend and asked where they are. Fortunately, they were still in Greenbelt having coffee, and decided that they will go to Government afterwards. I told him to wait for me, and then rushed downstairs, took a bath, wore a white shirt and jeans and put on my dancing shoes. I was so in a hurry that I didn’t even check if I still have money in my wallet.

When I got to the coffee shop, I immediately ordered café mocha, to wake my body up. After a couple of minutes of chatting with them, we decided to go to the club. Everybody decided to go. I do not exactly know what’s with me that night, but I was so excited.

When we got to the club, I signed my name on the VIP list, and then I walked towards the entrance where here was only a black cloth covering what was going on inside, only the beat of the music could be heard.

I almost forgot how it was inside the club. It felt like people are on “E” or something. Everyone was dancing… some guys even took their shirts off, exposing their sweaty chiseled body. After a couple of minutes of letting things sink in, I went to the bar and got myself a glass of Cape Cod and went upstairs to greet my friends who are regulars of the club. After that, I found myself talking to joel bout creating a post on describing what we see, feel and hear right at that very moment. We were trying to look for the right words to use like surrendering to the music, or feeling the music flow through our veins, something like that. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t find the right words to use now, so I’m just gonna say that it was a F*CKIN great night. It feels good to dance your heart out without caring bout what the people around you would think. That’s what I did. I surrendered to the music, and hell yeah… it was fun. After hours of dancing and taking over the dancefloor, it was time to go (there were still a lot of people inside, it’s just that czar needed to go home), we went to the exit and daylight flashed before our eyes… it was 6:30am. I didn’t even notice. It was a night to remember. Too bad I didn’t get to meet anyone.