i've been missing a lot in my life lately. i started to send text messages to my old friends and call some of them. apparently, nothing much changed. everything's pretty normal.
i tried to look at the things that are left in my pad today, (after my roommates left) and i found my journal.the last entry was when i spent my lunch talking to this person. it was a flashback. the feelings came back, i was able to imagine the exact setting. i was in the training room talking to him. he had a bad night. i was trying to make him feel better. i had butterflies in my stomach. i miss those moments. but then, things are different now. i'm doing great. i just don't know why things like these suddenly appear from nowhere, i know that i'm on the right path but there's just these moments where i can't help but go back and remember.. songs played on the radio, things that reminded me of the sad experiences i had in the past, all these stuff makes me feel vulnerable. but then i told myself i will not hurt, i am strong, i can do this.
i almost forgot... a funny thing happened this afternoon, i realized i didn't have money at all. but then after a couple of hours trying to figure out where i will be able to get dough for tomorrow, a friend told me that he was able to sell some of the accessories that we made. i was so surprised that i immediately left what i was doing and went straight to his work. i waited for an hour. i was just smoking outside when i remembered myself a year ago. i was like this. living for the moment. i don't wanna go back to that state. i have to save money. so what i did was keep half of what i earned.
tomorrow will be a brand new day. i'll be making some more accessories. i'll be going to the gym, i'll be thinking of what's ahead of me. no more looking back. i've learned a lot from the past but there's no time to dwell on them. move on gerard... move on...
i tried to look at the things that are left in my pad today, (after my roommates left) and i found my journal.the last entry was when i spent my lunch talking to this person. it was a flashback. the feelings came back, i was able to imagine the exact setting. i was in the training room talking to him. he had a bad night. i was trying to make him feel better. i had butterflies in my stomach. i miss those moments. but then, things are different now. i'm doing great. i just don't know why things like these suddenly appear from nowhere, i know that i'm on the right path but there's just these moments where i can't help but go back and remember.. songs played on the radio, things that reminded me of the sad experiences i had in the past, all these stuff makes me feel vulnerable. but then i told myself i will not hurt, i am strong, i can do this.
i almost forgot... a funny thing happened this afternoon, i realized i didn't have money at all. but then after a couple of hours trying to figure out where i will be able to get dough for tomorrow, a friend told me that he was able to sell some of the accessories that we made. i was so surprised that i immediately left what i was doing and went straight to his work. i waited for an hour. i was just smoking outside when i remembered myself a year ago. i was like this. living for the moment. i don't wanna go back to that state. i have to save money. so what i did was keep half of what i earned.
tomorrow will be a brand new day. i'll be making some more accessories. i'll be going to the gym, i'll be thinking of what's ahead of me. no more looking back. i've learned a lot from the past but there's no time to dwell on them. move on gerard... move on...
No comments:
Post a Comment