Drunk Entry

I'm alone in my room while all my friends are out having fun. It's the last weekend before the year ends, and a huge part of me wanted to party, I could go to a club, but I honestly prefer to party with the group I consider my second family. The bad thing is, I wasn't invited. Maybe I don't remember them inviting me, but the fact still remains, I am in my room, alone, while they are upstairs having fun. This sounds childish, this might be the alcohol talking (I decided to drink instead of wallow on my sorrow), or it may be the truth, that the stuff that happened to me the last quarter of the year took its toll on my relationship with my friends.

I may be sad now, I may feel bad that I wasn't invited, but I still love them dearly, each one of them. I just feel like an outcast now.

Hooked

I couldn't post what I really feel in Facebook and Twitter because they're my friends and he's following me. It's enough that I already gave hints based on the songs I was listening to while I sing them (using emoji). Technology has brought people together but also made your privacy accessible. These are the reasons why I reverted to blogging. I could write what I want without the feeling of being awkward.

"wow, that woke me up."

This was the reply I got when I sent him a text message. I thought it was something sweet or that I woke him up, but when I asked why, he said "nothing, someone called me up." That's fucked up...

It has been almost a week since I last saw him and now, I still get the aftershocks of liking him, but the storm is almost over. Maybe in a couple of days, i'd forget this stupid attraction.But one thing's for sure, this boy had this effect on me.

I know that it is close to impossible to get what I want at this point. He already defied his friends, and who am I to break that spell. He's already hooked. I just hope that no one gets hurt. It's either he'll be the water who puts out the flame or he'll get burned in the end, the same way I did.

Mine Someday

 It's been more than a year since the last time I really liked someone. And now that I do, of course, it wouldn't be fair if it's not complicated. Life has always been like that for me. I prayed for this moment to come, for a sign that it is still possible for me to hope for a relationship, and now that it's here, I do not know what to do.

 It has been a very long time, and I couldn't remember if this is possible... to like someone so much that you couldn't get him off your head. It has only been 4 days since the day I met him, but just one night I spent with him in his room (with his friends) intensified what I felt. This could be temporary, and after a couple of days, I'd be reading this and laugh at myself for writing, but who cares. I've always poured my heart out in this blog.

 This guy, who has been nice to me. This guy whose smile mesmerizes me. I don't know how he does it but every time he smiles, I couldn't stop staring at him. There's this sincerity in him when he does that. But more than the physical aspects, he has a good heart. Maybe that's what makes me like him more. He's not arrogant, he's accommodating, and very sincere with his words. He had his heart broken by someone, but he still looks at things positively.

 There are a lot of things to know about him, I am hoping that I'd still get the chance to know him more, but at the rate of how things are going, I don't think it'll happen anytime soon. A close friend of mine (housemate) also likes him, and they had the chance to spend time together last night (he slept in our house, in my friend's room). Days ago, they were holding hands in public. Yeah, it's fucked up for me. I don't even have anything to hold on to aside from his best friends words and some text messages that could easily be misinterpreted, either way, a part of me is still wishing that I could say that he's mine... someday.

2012

I have been wanting to start blogging again last year, but I have been procrastinating as well, so now, while feeling lazy to go home from work (not that I like staying here), I decided to write a new post... 

I should have posted before 2012 or at least a couple of days after the new year. My excuse: I'm part Chinese and it's almost Chinese New Year. (insert grin here)

Was looking over the net for a picture that would depict how excited I am that 2011's over and found this. 

2012 will be a year of change for me. The last year fucked me up big time. Debts here and there, stress at work and family, emotional torments, etc. But I've learned my lessons and I am now a better person. 

Happy New Year!!!