After a bad break up, I find myself looking at the mirror and see what's left of me. Nothing's changed aside from the added dark circles under my eyes, and the redness caused by crying for days. I left Manila to reflect and let go of all the negative vibes I got hoping that when I come back, I'll be a new person.

I would like to think that I feel better. I am actually exerting effort to do it. Every time I remember him, there's an alarm telling me to immediately think of something else. Unfortunately, we've been together for a long time. We've been everywhere, and each time I see each place, I am reminded of the last time I was there. I was reminded of who I was with him.

So who am I back then?

I was contented with what I had. I loved a person who was not treating me right, that's what people say. However, I can honestly say I was happy. I was generally happy with him. Though I got so used to it that everything seems like a routine, I can still say that I loved him.

He was not perfect, but I loved him for those imperfections. I made myself believe that he had his own way of showing his affections to me. He never showed any picture of us in Facebook because he said he was not out of the closet. On the other hand, everything in his facebook points to the fact that he is gay. I remember the time when I told a close friend of mine, "I could've had a perfect relationship only if he's proud of having me as a partner."

I don't know where this blog is going, my mind is tired of thinking of him. Maybe I still miss him...

Ok, I should stop now. Back to my goal. I'm gonna be fine. I'll be okay. I am blessed. I am happy and loved.