Wanting

After a night in a club, one whole day of traveling with one of my best friends, Joel, I found myself sitting in a bar with him, his boyfriend, Third, and another close friend Ron. One and a half bottles of beer and I could already feel the alcohol flowing through my veins … making me feel tipsy. It’s been a long time since I had a drinking session with friends. I miss it. We are talking about people we’ve dated that time. We were exchanging ideas on relationships and how one’s friends affect his choice of person to date. It should not really matter, but in some instances, it does, especially if there’s a strong urge to impress the people around you. Who wouldn’t want a perfect guy?

After a couple of minutes, the focus was on me. We were talking about this guy that I dated before and why I always talk about him. We dated for a month. Unfortunately we had to part ways. No regrets though. We are still in good terms, even chat once in a while in yahoo. At that time, I was thinking of the feeling of almost having the perfect guy. You find excitement and happiness with that person, and when it’s already gone, you start search for the same feeling again. The problem is that you start to compare. You meet a new guy. You find out that he’s completely the opposite. You look for another, and after finding one, again, you find differences. It would have been fine if it didn’t matter. You make yourself believe that it doesn’t matter, but at the end of the day, you realize that it does. If I’d be talking to someone who’s in this situation, I’d tell him: “It’s easy. Accept the fact that no one’s gonna be exactly like him, try to find the good things with the new guy and embrace his flaws.” I used to tell myself this. I was ok for a while. Single, had a couple of dates, but still single. It didn’t bother me until last night. Last night I faced the fact that it’s still him that I want.