I'm not a huge fan of change. And right now I’m experiencing it. I'm not complaining though. Sometimes, you just have to have the courage to face the things that are coming your way. Last night, I went out... alone. I went to this club where they are celebrating single's night. It felt so weird because I didn't feel like dancing. Usually, when I enter the club and I see wasted people, different lights flashing, hear house music and feel the beat pounding my chest, I couldn't help but go to the dance floor and dance like there's no tomorrow. I call it "dancing my fears and troubles away". But last night was different. I don't know if it is because I was alone (but I always dance alone, my friends just stand at one corner and talk), or because at the back of my mind I’m thinking that I am single and I don't really want to be one.
I remember seeing this couple. They really look good together, and they were hugging and kissing while dancing. I just can't help but wish that I had a partner too. It's not that I’m desperate. I know that there are a lot of advantages of being single. Maybe it's just that I’m missing the feeling of having someone to take care of you and worry for you. Someone who would be there to listen to your problems or complaints. Someone whom you could count on no matter what happens. Someone who's not just a friend. Someone who loves you for who you are, no "but" and no "if".
All these things make me think. Do I really have to search for the right person? Or should I just wait? Which is the cliché? Because I’ve tried both and I’m still single... for five years now. I've dated a couple of guys along the way, but none of them worked out. I don't know if it's me, if it's the timing, if it's them? There are just too many factors that would determine what makes all the attempts fail.
The last guy that I dated said it was the wrong timing. But then everything was perfect at first. That’s the reason why we decided to try it out, to date each other. But the, after a couple of days, it was gone. So I guess it wasn't the timing after all. It should've been perfect if not for the things that I guess that scared the spark away.
Let's say it was the guy. Am I looking for the wrong guys? Do I have very high standards? One friend told me that I should stop dreaming. That I should face reality. But what about what I want? Should I just settle for something less? What should I look for then? If that's the case, then I wouldn't be happy with the one I’m with. I would just be pushing myself to do something that I don't want. Making yourself believe that you like someone. Then I would just be fooling myself and the other person as well.
I guess it all boils down to myself. I had been the person who felt that love plays an integral part in one's life, and I’m not being dramatic. That's just the way I feel. Maybe that's the reason why I’m coming up with these ideas, because I think about it too much. I feel that this is going to change soon. I feel the need to focus on something else. I'm not saying that it's not important; it's just that there are other things that need my attention too. Maybe it's time for me to focus on my career, or my family or something else. This change is going to be good. As I have said, I am not a big fan of change, but if it’s for the better, then I’ll accept it with open arms.
I feel that I’m growing emotionally. I'm slowly seeing a bigger picture. Life isn't always about love. Love's going to say goodbye to me for a while. I know that someday it will come back to me. Anyway, change will always be there. But then the faith will always be there. The faith that someday, I will look back and say... "This is worth the long wait."
I remember seeing this couple. They really look good together, and they were hugging and kissing while dancing. I just can't help but wish that I had a partner too. It's not that I’m desperate. I know that there are a lot of advantages of being single. Maybe it's just that I’m missing the feeling of having someone to take care of you and worry for you. Someone who would be there to listen to your problems or complaints. Someone whom you could count on no matter what happens. Someone who's not just a friend. Someone who loves you for who you are, no "but" and no "if".
All these things make me think. Do I really have to search for the right person? Or should I just wait? Which is the cliché? Because I’ve tried both and I’m still single... for five years now. I've dated a couple of guys along the way, but none of them worked out. I don't know if it's me, if it's the timing, if it's them? There are just too many factors that would determine what makes all the attempts fail.
The last guy that I dated said it was the wrong timing. But then everything was perfect at first. That’s the reason why we decided to try it out, to date each other. But the, after a couple of days, it was gone. So I guess it wasn't the timing after all. It should've been perfect if not for the things that I guess that scared the spark away.
Let's say it was the guy. Am I looking for the wrong guys? Do I have very high standards? One friend told me that I should stop dreaming. That I should face reality. But what about what I want? Should I just settle for something less? What should I look for then? If that's the case, then I wouldn't be happy with the one I’m with. I would just be pushing myself to do something that I don't want. Making yourself believe that you like someone. Then I would just be fooling myself and the other person as well.
I guess it all boils down to myself. I had been the person who felt that love plays an integral part in one's life, and I’m not being dramatic. That's just the way I feel. Maybe that's the reason why I’m coming up with these ideas, because I think about it too much. I feel that this is going to change soon. I feel the need to focus on something else. I'm not saying that it's not important; it's just that there are other things that need my attention too. Maybe it's time for me to focus on my career, or my family or something else. This change is going to be good. As I have said, I am not a big fan of change, but if it’s for the better, then I’ll accept it with open arms.
I feel that I’m growing emotionally. I'm slowly seeing a bigger picture. Life isn't always about love. Love's going to say goodbye to me for a while. I know that someday it will come back to me. Anyway, change will always be there. But then the faith will always be there. The faith that someday, I will look back and say... "This is worth the long wait."
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