Break Stuff

I just woke up an hour ago, ate breakfast, had coffee, and talked to my mom for a while about this coffee she’s selling. It’s an herbal coffee. She wanted me to help her sell it, and I will. Anyway, I work in an office where almost everyone drinks coffee, so might as well take advantage of it.

Yesterday, I went to PUP for the enrollment and as usual, Jason and I was not able to finish the process since there were a lot of students trying to get their stuff done and there’s only one girl trying to accommodate everyone. So after a couple of trips to the photocopying machine, we left our stuff with the girl and asked her if we could just come back tomorrow. She said yes, with a huge smile on her face. I guess it made her feel better since it’s almost lunch time. After that, we went straight to SM Sta. Mesa to watch X-Men 3. I don’t usually go there because it’s not accessible from where I live and/or I haven’t heard of any good stuff to look at in that mall. Since it’s the nearest movie house from where we were at that time, we decided to watch the movie there. We arrived at around 11:30am, bought tickets for the 12:40pm showing and ate lunch while waiting for the movie to start. While eating my lunch, I just realized that I’ve been awake for almost 20 hours already. I was thinking, after the movie, how in the world will I get enough rest for me to have the energy to go to work at 7:30pm? While walking, I was already trying to figure out an excuse of not going to work, or at least work half day. After a couple of minutes, I told myself I’m gonna deal with it later.

We’re done with lunch and also done smoking a cig at the Bingo area, so we walked our way to the movie house. It was enormous! Biggest I’ve seen so far. I think it can accommodate a thousand people. We bought the premiere seats thinking that we would get a better view, but when we got in, we sat on the front row thinking that it wouldn’t be that far but realized that it was still too distant. It felt like we were just watching the movie in front of huge television. So we went downstairs, and took the deluxe seats.

The movie was so nice! I love it! It made want to be a mutant; it would’ve been cool… The way you’ll use your powers and how people would admire you for the way you look… If I was a mutant, I’d definitely want to look weird. That’s why I love Halloween. It’s the only time you could wear anything you want and not look silly. It brings out the child in me. Anyway, enough with daydreaming, going back, I like the way the movie was made. The special effects were just awesome. The fight scenes were great and Iceman was so cute. :)

After the movie, we drove home talking about what the next marvel movie would be. We were saying something about how they should combine all the Marvel characters into one super-movie. Something like “MARVEL: The Movie”. I’d love to see the characters that I used to like when I was young; Banshee, Gambit, Silver Surfer, etc. with a superior director, good budget and fine actors and actresses, I bet it’s gonna be excellent.

Anyway, when I got home, I felt so tired. I’ve been up for almost 23 hours already, and I realized that if I go to work, I won’t be productive and I’ll just be abusing my body. On the other hand, if I don’t, what’s gonna happen to my campaign? So I decided to go to work at around 12mn, lunch time. I sent my boss a message that I was not feeling well, and that I’ll just try to go to work in the middle of the shift. I woke up at 11pm, just looked at my phone and saw that there were 4 missed calls and 5 new messages. One massage came from my boss, which kinda struck me:

“Gerds… I know you, you’re just feeling burnt out I’m sure… Do you know how important you are to the whole campaign… specially now? Gerds, this not the right time for your whatever, please?! Just think of what’s gonna happen to the whole campaign if you’re not there. I’ll see you later. Stay positive, no matter what happens. Take Care… Luvyah! –shuts”

I love my boss, not in a romantic way, but as a friend and as a good boss. She understands me. Unfortunately, I just feel like I’ve been working too hard. I need a break. When I come back, I’ll do better. I never failed her anyways. I don’t wanna sound boastful, but all the campaigns that are not earning were given to me. I picked them up from the dirt. When I work, I really work. I take things seriously. There’s a time for fun. When there’s improvement, we can have some fun, but I have to remind my people that we’re not yet there, so hold your horses; But when we reach the top, that’s the time to have fun. I work hard, but I party harder.

But then, there are some things at work that I find unfair. Instead of getting recognition for the good thing that you’ve done, you are asked to push for more. I mean, give me a break! It’s like I performed magic to revive a dying campaign and you want me to make it fly, now that it’s flying, you want me to make everything perfect, no time to relax. No time to enjoy your accomplishments. You’re given 7 monitoring sessions to finish everyday (the QAs only accomplish 4 everyday. That’s the average. And they don’t have to worry about any stats or agents, only the quality side, and the supervisors are required to accomplish at least 7 in a day, at the same time manage you 16 agents in one team and also the 20 agents in 1 campaign.), and you should continue to perk your people, update the stats, coach your people on a consistent manner, no cell phones on the floor, no eating, no slouching, sit up straight, NO ONE’S ALLOWED TO HAVE FUN ON THE FLOOR!!! Aaarrgh!!! Did you see any recognition there? NONE! And yes I am complaining. Why not quit? Don’t worry, I’m almost there.

So going back, I decided to bring out the devil in me and went back to sleep. I woke up after 14 hours of deep sleep. I guess it’s enough for now.

Something new

Last Saturday, I went to a team building with my agents in Century Imperial Hotel in Q.C. It’s something different from the other teams’ location for their trips. It’s usually a resort outside the city where they could drink and swim. I just thought that instead of traveling far, why not rent a cozy place in the city. We could also drink and swim there, and if we like, we could go out at night and check out the clubs near the area. It was pretty convenient, especially for me, since I live only a couple of blocks away from the building. If the team needs something for the house, I could just go home and get it. We had a great time.

I just realized that it has been quite a long time since I wrote here. A lot of stuff happened already. First thing that I’ll be talking about would be my fetish for Aussies. I’ve been chatting with a lot of cute Australians, and hoping that I could visit their country soon. I heard a lot about gay Aussies who like Asians, especially Filipinos, and it kinda made me wish that someday, I’d meet one. I like their accent and their features.

Two Sundays ago, I was chatting with this gorgeous Aussie. He had a handsome face and a perfect body. I was actually drooling over his pics. He told me that he’s a model there and sometimes visits the Philippines. He told me the places that he already visited here, which kinda convinced me that he’s not a fake. We had several sessions of chatting after that. I just hope that we could meet one of these days.

Last Sunday, I met up with my best friends. We were able to chat and catch up on things. I miss those times when we would usually meet up every weekend, have coffee, and go to a club at night and party. It was more of a routine that we had before. It felt like a sin if I won’t go out with them on weekends, but now, I can say that we’ve changed. We are more mature now. We don’t need to meet up every weekend, or talk on the phone everyday to assure ourselves that we have a strong bond. I know that our friendship will stand the test of time. We’ve been friends for 15 years now. It’s feels nice to know that the communication is still there, and nothing changes.

And now, I’m in a university in Manila, waiting for the enrollment to start. I took the exam for Bachelor of Science, Major in Broadcast Communication in the Open University, and I passed it. I just thought that I might need a degree. I am excited since I’ll be attending classes again and have classmates. My only wish is that my body would not fail me. Right now I’m so stressed at work already with all the pressure from my boss and all the monitoring forms that I have to accomplish everyday, even if it is not that effective. I have a lot of complaints at work, I try to voice it out, but I just feel like they don’t listen to my solution.

The rainy season's back

It has been a week of stress at work. After a week of relaxation, I should have known that I’ll be subject to pressure and challenges again. I gathered all the strength inside me and did my best to perform well at work. My plan was running smoothly when two guys at work made a perfect storm and ruined my week. The story’s too complicated for me to write it here but the point is what happened brought out the devil in me. Words have been said and it made a huge impact, I tried to resolve it, but it didn’t work. I have a silent relationship with one, and the other, I treat as an acquaintance. Nothing more, nothing less. The girl used to be my closest friend at work, but now, it’s as if she turned into one of the computers. I approach it when I have to, but I can leave it alone and just use the other stations at work. It thinks that I’m ok now, but after hearing what it has to say, I realized that its mind can store a lot of information but cannot really think the way humans do. It’s selfish. It won’t think of the emotion of humans, it would only consider what it thinks is right. I don’t have to explain things to it because it would not understand, what it thinks will always be the only thing that’s right. Humans have proven the flaws of the computer, but for the computer, it only does the things programmed to do, the only things that are right. It’s intelligent, but it’s still only a machine. It’s just a SIMPLE, BORING MACHINE.

The other one’s just stupid. I don’t have to say anything. Just plain STUPID.

The Island

I’m back to my normal routine. I’m in the office right now. Just finished my 1^st day at work after the long vacation. It’s been a long day. None of my agents are dialing, so we all stayed at the auditorium doing nothing… well, I conducted training for the upcoming campaign, but it only took around 1 and half hour, so the rest of the day was used for doing nothing. Somehow, I still have the hangover of my Boracay vacation. I remember the sand, the water, the sun, everything. All of that stuff sunk in me so bad that I wanted to go back and stay there for months, or even years. But then, I would have to save lots of money first before I could do that. The experience was never really enough, but I would settle for that for now. All I have to do is look at the pictures, listen to the music and remember.

We had a scary flight on our way to the island. The door was not properly shut so it made this deafening noise that scared the hell out of all the passengers. The good thing was nothing bad happened.

The first step on the soft white sand was unforgettable. It almost felt like the first time. I was welcomed by the island with open arms. I felt the wind blow softly on my skin, the waves sung in chorus and the sun was shining on me as if saying that it missed me. It was an unexplainable feeling. We walked towards the place where we are about to stay, and after sometime, realized that it was too far, my shirt was soaked wet with perspiration, so I took my shirt off. You could never do that in the city, especially with the ordinance that men cannot walk on the street without at least a shirt, you learn to endure the heat and the feeling that you want to take a shower right then and there. But in Boracay, It’s different. People are walking wearing only a pair of Speedos, bikinis or board shorts, which makes those people with good body an attraction.

We took a trike to D’Mall, where we met up with my best friend’s boyfriend. After that, we went straight to our place and relaxed for a while. After that moment, I knew that I could enjoy my stay in the island again. I changed clothes, put tanning lotion, went to the beach and praised the sun. It was perfect. The water was not that cold not hot. I remember writing about this; it was my comfort zone.

There were lots of people that time. It kinda made irritated and excited at the same time; irritated of the people who are too noisy that you can’t sleep while enjoying your sun bathing, excited because there are too many gorgeous people walking in front of you. It was scenic. Makes you think that you are really in a paradise.

Aside from all those stuff, the food was also luscious. We spent most of our budget eating in good restaurants. I remember us thinking of where we are going to eat dinner while we’re eating lunch. All the Pork Belly and Hawaiian Rice in Hawaiian Barbecue, the Pa-a and Bangus in Chicken Inasal, the Pasta and the Pork Chop in Fridays, the eat all you can in Mongolian Grill, the breakfast in True home, the Binagoongan and Paksiw in McSandro’s, everything was perfect. I think I gained weight after the vacation. My colleagues actually noticed.

At night, the beach was filled with the beat from the bars. After a couple of Rhum-Cokes, I tend to let go and just dance like there’s no tomorrow, or I enjoy the sound of the waves while walking along the shore on our way home. We never really met any cute guys, which sucks, but at least we had a great time enjoying everything else.

The whole stay was not enough, I guess the reason why most people decide to live there is because there’s never enough time there, but I have to stop. I wanted to write every detail of my days in the island, but I just decided to keep some to myself. A friend even told me that the Beach will always be there waiting for me, but for now I have to go back to this Urban Jungle. The next time I read this entry, I know that I would still remember. The stolen moments in my pictures and the music will always be there to help me remember.

Unwinding

Exactly 3pm when I started writing this. I’m lying down on a hammock beside my friend. And guess where we are… by the beach in Agno, Pangasinan. We’re not actually on the shore, but under a shed on a cliff. I’m facing Vietnam now. I can see the vast body of water, the waves created by the wind, and at the same time, feeling it blow through my skin while listening to music. It’s a perfect retreat. Everything is calm. There are no noisy kids, no other people except for us. It’s actually a private beach. And I’m not talking of a couple of meters long, but probably 30 kilometers of white, sun kissed sand. There’s a house in the middle, in front is a cliff where the shed (we call it tower because it has two levels) is built. Anyway, I told myself that this is my time to relax and forget about all the stress that I have been having for the past weeks. I deserve this.

We went swimming a while ago. I took pictures of the scenery. It was breathtaking. On the shore, it wasn’t actually pure sand. There were small pools of water formed by volcanic rocks. They were like Jacuzzis because the water was warm. Under the water were plants and a lot of black starfishes which were hiding inside the small holes. In the afternoon, we stayed on the formation were the waves meet the edge of the rocks. There was even this hole that shoots water when the big waves reach the edge. It was an exhilarating feeling. I was feeling a little nervous though because one big wave might pull me to the deep water ahead of us, and it’s kinda slippery because of the algae under my slippers. If that happens, I won’t really die of drowning because I know to swim, and I love swimming, but then, the strong waves could slam me to the sides of the rocks.

We continued walking further to the area where there’s place to really swim and not worry about any rock formation under us. The sun was scorching our backs, but it didn’t matter. When we reach the sandy area, we dropped our things on the sand and went to the water and started dipping our whole body under the warm water. The sand was not that fine compared to the ones in Boracay, but the color was nice. My friends started picking up shells for their aquariums at home while I just let my body float.

Eyes closed, moving my arms and legs slowly, I started to feel like nothing else matter. I forgot about all the stuff I have to do at work, my problems at home and my frustrations in life. Everything was so perfect at that moment. It took me a couple of minutes before I realize that the sun was burning my face already, so when I realized that I have to go back, I stood up, went to where my friends are lounging around, sat beside them and lit a cigarette. After one stick we started walking back to the cottage where we will be eating dinner.

It’s almost midnight. I stopped writing a while ago because we had to eat dinner. Yeah it took me a while to write a couple of paragraphs. I just couldn’t continue writing. The view was distracting me. Now I’m on the second floor of the tower. The full moon is shining above me. I could hear the loud splash of water below. The tide is high and the wind is blowing strong making the splash of water sound like thunder. I’m gonna rest for now tomorrow we’ll be goin back to the city. It’s a nice rest for me. I just wish I could stay longer.

The next day, we decided to go straight to Baguio instead, so we drove up to the cold city. The temperature was pretty low. We were wearing summer outfits when we went there, but then we realized we need jackets. It was so cold. We went shopping in ukayukays, then slept at my friends resthouse there. The next day, we went to Minesview park just to see the view. I didn't have enough money to buy stuff so I just took pictures.

Back to reality for now. I'm goin back to work.

Pictures were taken by me during the trip.

Weekend at Last

This is a late entry. My original plan was to write before the weekend starts. I just felt lazy that time, and I also went out with Jason and Malou after the shift. We were in Glorietta til 6pm. Well I was left with Joel because Malou went home early.

We watched Basic Instinct 2. I was so inspired by how Sharon Stone manipulated her victim. It was her power of seduction, play of words and stunning beauty that made it possible for her to pull her tricks and destroy several people’s lives. Call me evil, but admired her for that. Only a few people would be able to do that.

After that, we saw a ramp in the middle of Glorietta and found out that it was Fashion Week. There’ll be a fashion show at 6:00pm. It made me remember the days when I would spend several thousands of pesos just for me to look fashionable at work. There was a time in my previous work that I never wore the same outfit twice for 3 months. I had a lot of shoes, jeans, shirts, jackets, etc. Name it, I have it. Those were the days when I was always seen as the most fashionable employee. I miss those days. Thinking about it makes me want to buy clothes again. But then reality bites. I wasn’t able to get commission for March and I have to save money for my Boracay trip. It sucks when I think about it, but at least I’ll be spending 1 whole week in Boracay. I can’t wait.

Sunday. I spent the afternoon in Greenhills with some friends. Again, I saw stuff that I liked, but didn’t really buy because of some financial issues. But it was ok. Well, I kinda spent much on this game in Timezone which was introduced to me by this guy I dated before. It was a game where there’s a bar moving from left to right, and you have to press a button to stop it from moving. The objective of the game is to stack up the bars to reach the top. The bars move faster and become shorter as the pile goes up. If you reach the top, you win a mobile phone or MP3 player. You can actually choose from 4 major prizes. I just can’t remember the four. It was easy at first. I actually reached the last block several times, but then I never stopped it at the right spot. It was really addictive because my friend even gave me money so that he could watch me play again and again. Too bad we didn’t win.

After that, I met up with my best friends in Seattle’s Best. We were finally able to meet, after several weeks of busy schedules. We were just chillin there, talking about Boracay, high school, stuff that didn’t really mean anything. We were teasing each other, making fun of the people around us, looking at each others’ phones, talking about the people that we usually see in the places where we used to go. That’s was our normal routine when we meet. We’ve known each other since grade school, and that’s something I’m proud of. We still see each other and talk over the phone as often as possible. We’ve seen each other grow and turn into who we are right now. We made each other stronger. We been together through ups and downs and I know that this won’t change.

I’m back in my room now. It’s actually 2:13pm. I’ll be going to work early to print out some certificates and do some reports. The weekend’s over, and I’m back to my normal, busy, stressful life.

Move on

I wasn’t able to write yesterday because I was so tired. I was planning to write though. After the shift, I went to Gateway with a friend and paid my phone bill. After that, we ate at Pancake house, and went home. It was a weird shift for me, because for some unknown reason, I kinda felt better. No extreme dizziness. I was even back to my normal routine of perking people. But then I heard some news. I didn’t actually believe it at first, No one believes the news, but then after analyzing it, I found out that this could be true.

My boss is going to resign from work. According to her, she’s gonna submit her resignation letter later. No one actually took her seriously. Maybe because she’s the type of person who would pull tricks on people for fun. She even made us believe that Manny Pacquiao was going to the office one time. She’s fun to work with though. When she’s around, work feels lighter (if she’s not in a bad mood). She would walk around the floor and crack jokes at people. When you see her the first time, you wouldn’t think that she’s a shift manager, but then when you start to know her, you’ll see that her decisions, the way she handles the campaigns, the way she deals with people and her way of working is astonishing. And she’s known for that.

She’s also a close friend of mine as well. During my first few months at work, she was my co-supervisor. We used to hangout at work with some of the other supervisors. When she was promoted as a shift manager, she’s took me as one of the supervisors in her campaign. Some people think she’s a bitch. Maybe because she always talks about what’s in and what’s out in the society. She’d usually talk about clothes, music, clubs, cars, etc. But then she’s just like that. She has a good sense of fashion and people skills which make others envy her. I, on the other hand, admire her way of dealing with people. Her humor makes everybody want to listen to her. It’s something that’s hard to learn; probably something that you cannot learn. It’s either you’re born with it or without it. And she’s one of those who have it. All in all, she’s a wonderful person inside out. And no one at work would want to see her go.

This happened to me before. My boss who I really like leaves work. I cried so hard yesterday when I heard the news. I still don’t know if this will push through or not. Hopefully it was just a joke. Or if she’s getting burned out, I hope that the management just gives her time to rest.

By the way, I wasn’t able to get my commission for the month of February. Someone was not able to send an email about it to the report writer. Yeah, it happened again. I’m just pushing for a check, like before. Also, I won’t be able to get commission for March. They did not approve my proposal. It hurts.

I can’t do anything about it anyway. Might as well move on…