I hate the way you walk towards me. It makes me hope that you’ll always look for me when you’re alone.
I hate it when you tease me. It adds up the memories I keep that make me miss you even more.
I hate the way you smile at me. It makes me weak and smile back no matter how bad I feel at that minute.
I hate it when you say you miss me. Those are simple words that make me hold on to something I do not see.
I hate the way you hug me tight. It keeps me up when I try to sleep at night.
I hate the way you make me feel secure. Coz I know that you could just disappear and leave me alone in the future.
I hate your surprises coz I know I’ll always be waiting for the next one day after day.
I hate it when you stare at me. You mesmerize me too much that I couldn’t think straight.
I hate it when you hold my hand. Coz when we part ways, I keep wishing that I still have yours on mine.
And worst thing I hate, is not hating you at all. All these things make me want you even more.
Monday, December 13
Sunday, December 12
this is how I see things
I lied. There aren't any other blog. I still write, but chose not to publish them because I'm afraid of misinterpretation. This time, I'll try make things as simple as possible and not care about what people will say.
I didn't think I'd like you this much. Not caring that you're not mine, not caring that I wouldn't see you everyday, all that matters is I have something to look forward to, and every time it happens, you never fail to make me smile. I'm tired of drama, I don't want to complicate things that are already complicated. I'm just enjoying the ride. Especially the few days we spent together.
Like what I told you when we first met, I am a hopeless romantic. I see things differently. Things that might be nothing to you could mean a lot to me.
Our 2 days in the island was memorable for me. I was so excited that even though I was tired from our trip in Tagaytay, I didn't have time to think about rest. I told myself, I might not have the chance to do this with you again so I'd just go for it. To tell you honestly, I'm not the type of person who would do that. I'd rather stay at home and rest if I'm really tired, but there's something in you that makes me break my routine.
The whole trip was all worth it. All I have are pigments of memories. You might have seen things differently, but this is how I see them.
I thought that night was perfect. We were alone in an island, the clouds paved way for the stars to shine above us, and the fireflies were dancing around us. The sound of the wind and the waves crashing against the walls of the islands blended with the silence. There was a harmony of tranquility, and for me it was romantic. We were in front of our tent on a cliff. Only the stars, the moon and the small fire from a lamp gave us light. It was dark but it was enough for me to see the beauty of your face. It was cold that night, but it didn't matter, you were beside me. Your eyes were gleaming, I didn't know if you noticed me staring, but something in you mesmerized me. When you talk, laugh and tease me, I forget that you are not mine.
In the morning, we rented a kayak, which scared me a bit because the plan was to go the other island. I love to swim, but I wouldn't have crossed the sea using that small boat without you. I guess my point is you give me courage to do things I want to accomplish but didn't have the strength to do so. Even if you think that I always argue, deep inside, I am impressed on how you pacify my thoughts and open my mind. You are more complex inside. No matter how simple things are to you, you still make my mind tick and try to understand where you're coming from. I know that sometimes, when you are alone, you think of things you don't want to tell me, trust me, I notice. And during those times, you also make me think. I just hope you trust me to listen to anything you are thinking of. No matter how bad or evil it is, I can handle it.
You made me see the world differently. You made me see things I didn't thought of before I met you. I don't know how you do it, but trust me, whether you know it or not, you have a huge effect on me. You are young but you've developed a different level of maturity that other people still do not have. There are still times when you're childish but those things add up to your charm.
Now we're back to how it used to be. Me sending messages, you most of the time not replying. Me wanting to see you and you making me think that you do not care at all. Sometimes I am almost convinced that I'm just one of your many conquests, and it's tiring. But when I think about it, what do I have that would make me a part of your conquests? A lot of people would want to go out on a date with you. More good-looking people with sexier bodies. Then why me? I asked you this question and you said you do not know. Again, something that makes me think. I just hope that I'm right to assume that you are not superficial.
When I'm about to give up, you'd do something that would make me hold on. Then that's the time that I'd tell myself I'm tired of drama. You make me happy, and that's what's important to me now. I was hoping that you'd be more sensitive and consistent, but on the other hand, this hope might complicate things even more, so I'll just take that back and be satisfied with what we have, whatever this is.
It's crazy that way.
I didn't think I'd like you this much. Not caring that you're not mine, not caring that I wouldn't see you everyday, all that matters is I have something to look forward to, and every time it happens, you never fail to make me smile. I'm tired of drama, I don't want to complicate things that are already complicated. I'm just enjoying the ride. Especially the few days we spent together.
Like what I told you when we first met, I am a hopeless romantic. I see things differently. Things that might be nothing to you could mean a lot to me.
Our 2 days in the island was memorable for me. I was so excited that even though I was tired from our trip in Tagaytay, I didn't have time to think about rest. I told myself, I might not have the chance to do this with you again so I'd just go for it. To tell you honestly, I'm not the type of person who would do that. I'd rather stay at home and rest if I'm really tired, but there's something in you that makes me break my routine.
The whole trip was all worth it. All I have are pigments of memories. You might have seen things differently, but this is how I see them.
I thought that night was perfect. We were alone in an island, the clouds paved way for the stars to shine above us, and the fireflies were dancing around us. The sound of the wind and the waves crashing against the walls of the islands blended with the silence. There was a harmony of tranquility, and for me it was romantic. We were in front of our tent on a cliff. Only the stars, the moon and the small fire from a lamp gave us light. It was dark but it was enough for me to see the beauty of your face. It was cold that night, but it didn't matter, you were beside me. Your eyes were gleaming, I didn't know if you noticed me staring, but something in you mesmerized me. When you talk, laugh and tease me, I forget that you are not mine.
In the morning, we rented a kayak, which scared me a bit because the plan was to go the other island. I love to swim, but I wouldn't have crossed the sea using that small boat without you. I guess my point is you give me courage to do things I want to accomplish but didn't have the strength to do so. Even if you think that I always argue, deep inside, I am impressed on how you pacify my thoughts and open my mind. You are more complex inside. No matter how simple things are to you, you still make my mind tick and try to understand where you're coming from. I know that sometimes, when you are alone, you think of things you don't want to tell me, trust me, I notice. And during those times, you also make me think. I just hope you trust me to listen to anything you are thinking of. No matter how bad or evil it is, I can handle it.
You made me see the world differently. You made me see things I didn't thought of before I met you. I don't know how you do it, but trust me, whether you know it or not, you have a huge effect on me. You are young but you've developed a different level of maturity that other people still do not have. There are still times when you're childish but those things add up to your charm.
Now we're back to how it used to be. Me sending messages, you most of the time not replying. Me wanting to see you and you making me think that you do not care at all. Sometimes I am almost convinced that I'm just one of your many conquests, and it's tiring. But when I think about it, what do I have that would make me a part of your conquests? A lot of people would want to go out on a date with you. More good-looking people with sexier bodies. Then why me? I asked you this question and you said you do not know. Again, something that makes me think. I just hope that I'm right to assume that you are not superficial.
When I'm about to give up, you'd do something that would make me hold on. Then that's the time that I'd tell myself I'm tired of drama. You make me happy, and that's what's important to me now. I was hoping that you'd be more sensitive and consistent, but on the other hand, this hope might complicate things even more, so I'll just take that back and be satisfied with what we have, whatever this is.
It's crazy that way.
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