I decided to take a break and try to find myself. I was telling one close friend that the first step on the sands of Boracay will be memorable. The water was clear, the sand was soft, I felt the coldness of water fill my feet. It was hard to walk carrying my bags on the shallow water of the beach, but I know it's worth it. I told myself I'll be finding myself here... In this beautiful island. And my first step was the beginning.
I stared into the sun and the beauty of it all. Only the sound of the waves, the wind and the children playing filled my ears. It was serene that time.
After finding a place, we went to the beach. I was walking under the heat of the sun. It was a bit painful to the skin because it was almost noon. I know I'm going to be used to this. Somehow it felt like that experience was preparing me for the changes that I have to go through. It will be a tough one. But I'll be able to cope with it.
After eating lunch, we went swimming. The water near the shore was warm because of the algae. One of my friends there told me that it was cleansing the sands; that was the reason why Boracay sand was white. I wished that it would also be that easy for me to be cleansed from all the things that have been doing in
The water was gradually getting colder as we swam away from the shore. But then then the sun was still burning my skin. It was a nice experience. Your in the middle of two extreme things. Trying to find your comfort zone. True enough, after a couple of minutes, I was enjoying every moment of it. I was there... Floating on cold water under the heat of the sun... My comfort zone.
I was sitting watching the people enjoy the beach when I realized it was almost sunset. I watched the orange sun hide under the horizon, it felt like it was saying goodbye to me... Like it will stay there under the horizon, giving way for the moon and the stars to shine, and tomorrow, I'll see it again. It was slowly getting darker. Only the moon and the lights from the bars made it possible for us to see the sand where we were walking. After a few more minutes, I heard the beat of the drums... It was the start of nightlife in Bora.
We went home to change clothes. After dinner, we ended at Paraw. They had bean bags, floor pillows and a low table. We were just sitting there, enjoying the music. After a couple of hours, we decided to go to a different state of consciousness. A place where everything was beautiful. The lights were colorful and the sound will fill your body... I was happy. My friend told me to let go. I accepted everything in my life. I was so happy I cried. It was a bit embarrassing but I can't help it. I just felt this cold air in my eyes then tears suddenly appeared. It was a part of the whole experience for me. I felt all the pain, the problems, the fears go away. I used my shirt to wipe them off. Everything around me was full of color and lights. I found the beauty of the things around me. I was dancing the whole night. Every time a drop of sweat came out from my skin, every time a tear fell, I felt better. I was letting go.
After that night, the shirt I used to wipe the sweat and tears was gone. We never found it. Probably someone thought it was his shirt, but I guess he will never know that it had some part of me that I let go that night.
I found a part of me of the first day. It was hidden under the things I think about everyday. buried under problems about love, money, family, friends. These things that gave me pain and happiness. And I learned a lot from them. But that night let go of them... What was left was me.
